The ZFP Update: No.1 – Two Months In

Keeping Calm

It's now been 2 months since I started writing for the ZFP.  The initial plan for this blog was to draw from my own dating experiences and those of my friends and to provide advice.  I wanted to show that single women in their 30’s can be secure and independent, and not necessarily in want of an instant husband and child.

When making plans for the ZFP, I had a list of topics and a general order of all the things I wanted to write about.  Have I stuck to it?

Not quite.  More often than not my blog posts are governed by what I'm experiencing at the time, what my friends are encountering and what I feel is really important to consider when it comes to dating.

The Tour de France in London

Life happens even when you've made plans, but that’s okay.  We’re adaptable and we can work around the plan and modify it accordingly.

The past 2 months have been unpredictable.  I've stopped dating Mr Cool, stood in the rain to glimpse the cyclists in the Tour de France blitz by, escaped to York for a weekend, got married to my job (I've been working some crazy hours), allowed my inner cougar to resurface very briefly to charm a very cute Australian barman making my drink, and turned down a date with a guy I met on a train platform when he went a bit strange before the first date.

York Minster

I have also reached 45 first dates (42 Match.com dates).  Mr Watch turned out to be a bit too different for me (and there have been more developments since that post!).  Mr Whom didn't respond to my last text message.

But that is the nature of dating if you’re looking for the one; it’s a stats game – statistically, any guy you date has a one in… however many chance of being the one.

Being a Cougar

Am I disheartened by this?  Not in the slightest.  But I would be lying if I didn't admit that there are times when I find dating incredibly frustrating.

A few weeks ago I met Alastair and Amy for dinner.  Amy asked me why, if I had such a talent of helping my friends with dating, can’t I convert any of my dates into relationships.  Fair question.

My knowledge centres around dating, not relationships.  I can advise both men and women how to date and where to date, but the actual conversion of the dates into relationships – my friends did that themselves and I can’t take any credit for that.

At Piccadilly Circus

So where am I emotionally and physically with dating, relationships and career?

With my recent job change and commitment to my career, I don’t feel I can fully commit to the idea of a relationship right now; I'm neither emotionally or physically in the right place for it as my priorities lie elsewhere.  Dating has also been difficult because I've been working late most evenings.  However, I don’t feel there is any reason for me to rule out dating.

If the one appears?  I’ll adapt the situation accordingly.  As much as I am enjoying my work and life as it is right now, I won’t pass up a chance with the one.